Article updated: 02/10/2019
We often hear about the boomerang law and sayings on the similarity: “You cannot build happiness on someone else’s misfortune.” But there are examples when women took away foreign husbands and lived a long happy life with them. So is it worth blaming yourself for having a bond with a not free man and waiting for the boomerang law to come? Consider how psychologists interpret the love triangle and what they advise in this situation.
A terrible sin or a fateful turn?
In the Bible, adultery is considered a terrible sin. In the old testament, libertines were supposed to be stoned. Modern society has moved away from common truths, but fear remains at a subconscious level. And this is normal, because there are laws of life, breaking which a person loses energy and goes astray.
A love triangle cannot form without the consent of a man. Demand is primarily from him, because it was he who made an oath to love and protect his wife until the end of his life. In the beginning, a lover may not know about marriage; men confess when feelings flare up.
Women contacting married men fall into 4 types:
- Unaware of a lover's marriage. Free relationships are fastened, which turn first into a habit, then into strong feelings. A man has to confess about marriage, which leads to the separation of lovers or the breakup of the family.
- Initially seeking easy relationships with married men to avoid commitments. Such young ladies are characterized by a strong-willed character, balanced actions. Communication does not lead to serious consequences, through time, lovers break up.
- Women who tempt wealthy men for material well-being. The most unpleasant case. But such situations happen often. It is difficult for men to resist beautiful young ladies who set the goal of seducing and taking away the “material object” from the family.
- Women who really fall in love. No one is immune from sudden love. People can live for years in a marriage without realizing the lack of feelings. When two non-free people meet and fall in love, their further union can be justified.
All cases have a common psychological reason: women do not like themselves. A lover can not go out with a married man in people, is close to him on important days of his life. She has to share it with another woman. Such conditions will not be accepted by a woman who respects and appreciates herself.
If a free relationship suits, or partners feel mutual love, no one can judge them. No matter how hard it was for wives, but such situations do not happen just like that. It is important to understand what actions, thoughts and actions led to this situation.
What is the relationship with a married man talking about?
On the search for love and the absence of inner freedom. Falling in love with a married man, a woman expects the first step from him: when he leaves his family and makes an offer. Mistresses have been waiting for their heroes for years, who feed them with promises and swear eternal love.
Genetically, women are stronger than men. They have been suffering for years, experiencing depression and stress, but continue to hope for a brighter future.
Psychologists say that most lovers experience a victim complex. They are convinced that love is not given just like that, it needs to be earned, suffered, cried. They are ready to devote many years of life to expectations, suffering. Statistics show that only 10% of men leave wives for lovers, and only 3% of them live happily ever after with new passions. As a rule, such a union falls apart in a few years.
How to end a relationship with a married man?
If a woman is happy with everything, there is no need to look for a way out. But if the relationship brings nothing but pain and frustration, it's time to think about how to put an end to the destructive episode of life.
Men rarely make lovers with serious intentions. The main reason is the search for new emotions and sensations. Traitors rarely share with their mistresses, talk about their plans and goals. There is no complete trust between them. A woman who put herself in second place does not cause respect for the stronger sex. This is the main reason why men rarely marry lovers.
If a woman intends to abandon the supporting role, psychologists recommend using the following tips:
- First, minimize meetings, then completely reduce to zero. As soon as the lover becomes uncomfortable, the man will cease to show interest.
- Occupy thoughts with outside information. If you have feelings, the first time will not be easy. To survive the difficult period, keep yourself busy: chat with your friends on abstract topics, go to the gym, do yoga, read books.
- Delete all reminders of your former lover: shared photo, phone number, message, etc.
- Take a look at other men. Many will say that until a woman analyzes and survives the situation, it makes no sense to seek a new relationship. But we are talking about attention to other men, and not about creating new relationships. Look closely at new faces, note for yourself what you like about them and what annoys you. In this way, you distract from sad thoughts and discover a lot of new things. Often a new sympathy allows you to quickly survive the breakup.
But the most important advice is to love yourself. A married man who cannot make a choice is not worth the woman's tears and resentment. If a woman loves and appreciates herself, such personalities do not occur on her way. Remember, the answers to all the questions lie within us. The psychologist will not be able to help if the woman is not aware of her mistakes.
Does a relationship with a married man have a chance?
If you have feelings for a married man, do not rush to blame yourself. With mutual love, relationships can become happy. All the suffering will go to the wife.
Analyze the reasons for the appearance of a married man in your life. They are not random. Find out what pushes them, you probably did not dream about the role of a lover.
Think about what the relationship gives you? Do you feel good when a lover goes home to his wife. If an easy relationship brings comfort to both parties, nothing needs to be changed. Enjoy pleasant moments and enjoy life.
Think about whether you consciously entered into a relationship. Many women associate themselves with married men in order to avoid responsibilities before a serious relationship.
Can this relationship make you happy? How do you see further development when passion subsides? Are you satisfied with the life of a lover for two families? If it hurts to share a man with his wife, then you need to solve the situation.
Being a lover is a difficult mission. Only a few feel comfortable in this role. In all other cases, women are fighting internally. At the same time they are tormented by remorse, intolerable pain and love.
Some women regularly surround themselves with married men. The reason is internal problems that last from childhood. In this case, you need to contact a specialist and find a behavioral reason.
In most cases, a relationship with a married man ends not in favor of a mistress. If the marriage breaks up, it is not a fact that the man will be left with a “fallback option”. If problems begin in the family, a divorce will take place without a mistress. A woman on the side is a joy that temporarily allows you to escape from family problems.
Of course, there are exceptions. When between a lover and a married man sincere feelings. In this case, demand a decisive step from him, otherwise you will remain a “reserve airfield”.
Psychologists comments on relationships with married men
At the beginning of a relationship, positive emotions and feelings prevail: increased self-esteem, passion, lightness. Over time, they are replaced by addiction, and this is a disease. The lover begins to openly show jealousy and selfishness. Demand decisive steps from a man. Woman focus on partner, forgetting about herself. But if a man does not love, he will not go to cardinal actions. A lover will hear mountains of promises and vows of love, and when a man gets tired of reproaches and insults, the relationship on the side will end.
Addiction is a way to fill the void. She has nothing to do with bright feelings. If a woman initially made serious plans for a married man, most likely she was running away from stress, depression or self-doubt.
Dependence on a married partner leads to the following factors:
- decrease in self-esteem, self-esteem: the lover tries in every possible way to meet a man, breaks off his phone, begs for a meeting,
- internal imbalance: strong love gives way to attacks of hatred and jealousy,
- fading interest in work, friends, relatives,
- internal destruction of personality.
If you consciously go on an affair with a married man, be prepared for the fact that over time you will fall in love and lose peace. If you consider yourself a strong-willed woman, this does not exempt you from the pliability of feelings. First, you convince yourself that you do not claim to be No. 1, but eventually become addicted and voice your wishes to your beloved.
Let's be honest: no boomerang sits on top of the mountain and does not wait until we do a bad deed. It is about destroying oneself as a person, violating the laws of life that takes energy and strength. This is the boomerang law. Relations with a married man can end happily only if there is love between you, and he decisively makes a choice in your favor. Or it doesn’t, but you are satisfied with this situation, and you do not pretend to be No. 1. Everything else is a waste of time, which will not end in anything good.
1. How did you get into this network?
It is generally accepted that a lover is such an insidious sinner who destroys a family, and burn her for it at the stake. But in fact, these are isolated cases. Moreover, such girls get into the family for a specific purpose, get it and please. Well, imagine yourself, what kind of girl can dream of taking away a married woman from childhood? It is rather a coincidence.
More often than not, in a relationship with a married man, a woman finds herself in two cases: she did not know that he was married, he lied that he did not actually lead a family life.
- He did not say that he was married.
The most dangerous and traumatic situation. He did not wear a wedding ring, did not talk about children, behaved like a free man. In such ignorance, a lover can live for years without suspecting her status. All the worst begins when the secret becomes apparent. Finding out such a truth is very bitter. Disappointment in a beloved man who turned out to be a liar and a traitor, a strong sense of guilt before his wife, trampled self-esteem, despair due to wasted time. Such relationships last right up to this point. But having completed them, the woman regains consciousness for a long time.
- The wife is, as it were, but she is not.
It seems that everyone heard these men's tales, but everyone who turns out with this noodles on their ears was sure that this would never happen to her. A man says that they have not lived with his wife for a long time or live as neighbors, only for the sake of children. Do not get divorced for "very good" reasons. He promises that this is temporary, convinces him not to pay any attention to the stamp in the passport.
This is how a married man in love behaves. He most likely does not deliberately deceive you, but he believes that everything will somehow be resolved by itself.
But time passes, and the mistress remains on the sidelines. She cannot appear with him at events, she cannot celebrate New Year with her beloved man, she cannot bear his last name, and give birth to a child in a legal marriage. Ultimately, it all ends with the same regrets about the lost time, like all other lovers.
How to understand if a married man loves you? Very simple! He will not hurt you with his uncertainty. Understand that he does not leave her not because he loves you very much or is worried about the health of his legal wife or because of his children. A man who decided to leave will not be stopped by anything. In fact, he simply does not dare, is afraid to make a final decision and free both of you from this oppression of expectations and suffering.
2. Why do married people fall in love with others?
Relations with a married man begin, as a rule, just like any other. We met, liked, the period of flirting, love. It can be a resort or office romance. A chance meeting on the street or going beyond the old friendship.
How to find out if a married man already loves you? Remember how a boy in love behaves? He tries to pay a lot of attention, presents with gifts, looks for meetings, touches, in every possible way protects from problems and stresses.
Do not forget that it is impossible to love several women at the same time. Either he loves his wife, or you. If the choice is in your favor, he is not afraid to come to his wife and say: “I fell in love with another woman. Forgive and let go. ” This is the only way to judge that his intentions towards you are really serious. And if you hear only the empty “I like you, then I’ll definitely marry you”, etc., it is better to break off such a relationship as early as possible, even though the guy is very hooked.
Why do married men flirt and want other women to like? They want to make sure of their admiration, compare their abilities with other unmarried friends. Just a fan, fun. And the girls fall in love and begin to demonstrate an attitude that is very captivating: a lot of care, attention, compliments. And now the man is already in thought: a built, boring relationship with his wife or a new round with the one who loves you so much?
90% of men in different periods of marriage cheat on their wives. Only 10% of them go to their mistresses. 5% of them return back to their wives. And only 3% of the remaining live in a new marriage for the rest of their lives. Relations with a married man is a lottery. The most valuable thing is at stake - your time and your feelings. Chances to win are negligible.
4. Wife and lover
These two women are equally afraid and envious of each other. A married man and a free woman are a whole psychology. From the side of the wife, the picture looks like this: she is beautiful, free. He goes on dates with her, gives her gifts, compliments. They have great sex. Mistress sees it this way: I'm number 2, he will not leave his wife. They have common children, they all celebrate holidays. All his friends know her, she does not need to hide. From me he always returns to her.
A smart lover will always try to make sure that no one knows about her. She does not call his wife, does not leave a trace of her presence in his life, she does not call him and does not send love sms in the middle of the night.
But with a high degree of probability we can say that this is not a loving woman, but a hunter. Sooner or later, a loving woman is devoured by jealousy, and unwillingness to remain in the shadows, she needs certainty.
A smart wife will pretend that she does not know about her lover. And most likely will win. In principle, it is difficult for men to decide on changes in life, and even more so on such cardinal ones. It’s hard to give up stability. The husband gets used to the house, to children, to family traditions, holidays. And the mistress regards as entertainment or outlet. But in order to risk building a family with her, a man must have very good reasons.
5. How to get out of a love triangle?
If you still want the married man to leave the family and come to you, you must also remember that taking the place of a wife, someone will take your place as a lover.There are so many cases when a woman sought the departure of a man from the family, gave birth to children, and he either returns to the former, or falls in love with another.
Building a relationship with a married man, the advice of a psychologist will be simply necessary. It is impossible to be in heels and stockings all the time, to create a holiday for a man every day. One way or another, life, sores, fatigue and irritation will come to your couple anyway. You will become a wife, become pregnant, give birth. At the same time, you will want to trust your beloved man with all your heart, but finding yourself in the same vulnerable situation as his ex-wife once was, will be very tight with confidence.
How to behave with a married man? There are only two ways out of the triangle: either break off relations on one’s own initiative, or make him decide. How? There is a very effective method, but before leading a man out of the family, evaluate all the consequences, weigh all the pros and cons. And remember, deciding on this, it is no longer possible to retreat.
Tune in, get together and at the next meeting clearly and clearly outline your boundaries: “I love you, my dear, I understand what situation you are in. I have been waiting for you for a long time. But it can’t go on like this anymore. You have to make a decision: you are with her or with me. Therefore, from today I give you a month to think. Exactly a month later, I am waiting for you here, in the same place. Either with suitcases, or with a refusal. All this time we will not meet with you, nor call up or correspond. This will help you understand how much you need and how important I am, what it feels like without me. ”
From that moment, the test of your willpower will begin. You must pull yourself together and fulfill your own conditions. In this case, remember the statistics. No matter how you wish the decision was in your favor, the wife has more chances. Perhaps he never intended to leave the family. This is just a fact to be accepted. If you haven’t accepted yet, don’t give the peasant an ultimatum, continue to let him sit on two chairs.
6. Portrait of a lover
This status can be either a purposeful hunter or a woman who has problems with self-esteem. And it doesn’t matter if she knew from the very beginning what kind of relationship she was entering or was deceived. It matters that she cannot end such humiliating relationships. She does not understand how to part with a married man whom you love.
It seems to her that this is the last man on earth, so at any cost he needs to be dragged into a relationship with himself. She believes that no one else needs and will not find a better man for herself.
This is an alarming symptom of self-dislike. But in a situation of competition with his wife, self-esteem will inevitably fall even lower. Constant comparisons and perplexities will begin: “Why, if he loves me so much, he still has not left?”
In parallel, dependence on men will grow. And then he will set the conditions. So there are women who have deprived themselves of the future, for example, single mothers who voluntarily agreed to give birth from a married one. Or worse, those who have dedicated their entire lives to waiting for a man. They could not build relationships with others, really fall in love again, so they did not get married and did not give birth to children.
Why does a man make a lover
The time of primitive people has long sunk into oblivion. Hunting, gathering and life in the caves were left behind. Now we move through the air, communicate through thousands of kilometers and conceive children in test tubes. As monogamous creatures, we created the institution of the family to ensure the safety of our children. But primitive instincts remained at the helm. They still rule us, preventing evolution from gaining the upper hand.
One of the basic primitive instincts is the instinct of competition. It is expressed in a thirst for superiority over others and is more prevalent in men. This desire is to be the first, to assert oneself, to become a winner. How do men assert themselves to each other? Differently. For the instinct of competition it does not matter what exactly you are the first to do. The main thing is to prevail over others, and this will be enough to satisfy your basic needs. The more expensive your car, the higher the position, the more yachts you have, the better you are. Everyone has different values, and therefore this list is endless. But the similarity of all points in one thing - they make you a winner in a tacit competition among men. One of the main items on this list for a man is his woman. Much can be said about the man by the woman next to him. A woman is the main indicator of a man’s status. The more she is charismatic, beautiful, well-groomed, confident, interesting - the better the man who stands next to her looks in the eyes of society. And if he has two or more of these women, he automatically gets into the big leagues.
Unfortunately, in Western countries such male behavior in society is not condemned and is considered permissible. Thus, one of the reasons that a man has a lover is the desire to assert himself in the market of love relationships. The presence of two women in a man suggests that he is a good lover, it is interesting with him and he is most likely self-sufficient and wealthy. He feels power in his hands. There are many more reasons, besides the desire to assert oneself, for which a man can have a mistress. They can be combined in one sentence: unwillingness to solve problems that have arisen within the marriage, and instead seek a solution on the side.
The rules of the game in which you lost in advance
In the triangle, the wife-husband-lover is a real game of survival. In the most advantageous position is a man. He draws energy from two women, and thus his chances of achieving material success are doubled, and women's social prestige and success are growing before our eyes. He knows that he will stroke his shirts at home and cook dinner, and outside the house, a beauty is waiting for him, always ready to satisfy his sexual needs.
Both women are in some kind of competition, a struggle for him, which especially increases his self-confidence and gives him a sense of his own superiority. Second place in this game is the wife. First, a man never leaves where he feels good. And please note, many wives are calm about the fact that their husbands have lovers. They know that the husband will not go anywhere, and in which case he will be reproached with something. Many wives admit that their sex life with her husband flared up again after the husband started a mistress. In addition, the wife always remains dominant, the main woman in the life of a man. He lives with her, does not hide her from anyone, spends most of the time with her. In the end, he is married to her. And only the lover forever loses in this battle. A lover could potentially be a girl whose needs were never satisfied in childhood. This is a girl living as a victim. So, the lover is in a win-win position. At first (for some it is several months, but for someone it is all ten years) the girl is thoughtlessly waiting for something that will never happen. She believes and hopes that a man will abandon his family for her. Often, she builds these illusions on her own, despite the fact that the man has never even told her that he wants to leave his wife.
She weaves her canvas of illusions from some fragments of phrases, omissions. Reads thoughts that are not there. It takes several years, and she’s already put up with the fact that she spends all the holidays alone, and the man pays off either with flowers, or even just sms. But in her soul the hope still glows that someday they will be together. After some time, she turns into a disenfranchised slave to his interests. Where they will meet, when it will be possible to phone, when they will meet again - all this is decided by him.
Over time, the lover will understand that she was playing a game in which she had a failure in advance. But the main thing - if only it were not too late. If a man talks to you only in hints and does not promise anything, then you are in a game in which you lost in advance. If a man promised, fed breakfast, but did not leave your wife for you in the first year of your relationship, then be sure that he will never leave her.
Reason # 1: Habit
He used to live the way he lives. I got used to my wife, to their existing relationship. They have common children, mutual friends and acquaintances, their beloved dog. Their responsibilities and areas of responsibility are distributed, and at least they are already comfortable living this way. Just to take and abandon an already arranged life is a dubious undertaking.
Reason # 2: Fear of the Unknown
He does not leave his usual life for fear of the unknown. His life is already arranged, and if he wants to change everything, there is a risk of being left with nothing. How will children, friends, parents react to his decision? What if everyone turns away from him? Moreover, he does not fully know if you would have succeeded with him or not. After all, he never lived with you, he did not share life. You may be a great lover to him, but who said you would be a good wife? And where did you get the idea that he will be your good husband? After all, at least you already know that he is prone to betrayal and knows how to lie.
Reason # 3: You yourself let this happen
Why would a man need to change something if you are already with him? If you initially put him the ultimatum "choose - me or your wife," then, of course, he would have to choose. But you yourself agreed to fulfill the role of a lover, thereby admitting your defeat and reconciling with it. Of course, you can object: “But there are times when husbands leave their families and go to their mistresses!” Yes, it happens. But extremely rare.
Do not entertain yourself with the illusion that it is your case that is exceptional. Tell me, if a hundred people jump from the roof of a skyscraper, and one of them survives by chance, will you think that jumping is safe?
How to part with a married man - step by step instructions
So, your beloved man is married - what to do? Now that you know so much about a relationship with a married man, I suggest you strike up with them. And if you are not ready yet, I will share with you a secret: you will never be ready for this. You will endure to the last, until your cup of patience is full and bursts. But it is likely that at that moment you will be already 40 or 45, and you will not be able to remember anything except your thoughtless expectation. So make up your mind right now. Otherwise, you will close the article and live in these torments for many more years. So, how to part with a married man psychologist advice:
Step # 1: prioritize
Set priorities in your life. Do you want to have a family? Children? Build relationships that turn into strong and long-term? So do not waste your life on a person who already has it all arranged, and tell him about it. Do it gently, thinly and gently. Hint that you have different goals. You want family comfort and warmth. If you confidently convey this thought to your lover and stand your ground, he will hear and understand you. Show him your resolve in this direction.
Step # 2: Ignore
After talking about priorities, stop answering his calls and messages, and if you meet, keep calm and, if possible, pass by. Delete his messages without reading, and he will stop writing. Do all this without betraying emotions. No need to change the number or add it to the black list. All these actions will indicate that he means something to you. And this, in turn, will spur him on further attempts to contact you.
If you answer him angrily, “Do not call me! Leave me alone! I don’t love you anymore! ”, Such a reaction will be perceived by the man as a game and a signal to continue the relationship. Be outwardly calm and ignore any attempts to continue communication. Do not provoke memories in yourself. Do not go to his page, do not revise photos and videos, do not reread messages. The fewer things that remind you of him, the sooner you will survive and forget.
If you need help, you can sign up for a Skype consultation with me. I am a psychologist, and relationships are the main profile of my work.
Step # 3: Exit the Victim Role
If you are in a relationship with a married man, then most likely you are in the role of a victim. The victim is different in that she cannot do what she wants, she suffers for a long time, instead of bending the circumstances for herself. She is inclined to wear pink glasses and believe that everything by itself will someday be resolved.
The victim allows circumstances to manage her, and she herself cannot change anything, because “the family will not approve, the age is not the same, I can’t find a better job, they will laugh at me, he will leave me.” Especially for those who are in the role of the victim, I shot a video course - this is a video lasting 1 hour, consisting of practical tasks and exercises, by completing which you will stop allowing people and circumstances to control you, learn to defend yourself, speak out loud about you are not happy, and become an independent person. You will be able to take control of the situation with your man and resolve this conflict in your favor.
The cost of the video course is 1800 rubles. By purchasing a video course, you get a bonus: I will personally accompany you, answer your questions while you take the course. This condition is time limited.
To purchase a course, write to me in any social. network or in the form on the site “I want a course”. You can also ask any questions in the social network or in the form. You can read or leave feedback about me and my work here.
Take this step seriously, it depends on whether you step on this rake again or finally begin to build a mature, healthy and harmonious relationship in which the partner will listen to your desires and satisfy them.
On one side of the scales lies fear - on the other always lies freedom!
Step # 4: Spill Out the Negative
Do not accumulate emotions in yourself. If they do not come out now, then it will seem to you that the experience of the gap has already ended, and then, six months later, emotions will flow over, as if you broke up yesterday. Go in for sports and free creativity. Start running or sign up for dancing. Draw, sculpt, create! Free your emotions through physical activity or transfer them to the canvas. If you want to cry, cry. Along with emotions, thoughts, feelings, desires associated with a former man will come out of you.
Relationship with a married man
I want to reveal to you TWO patternswhich, like any law, act independently of our consciousness.
1. A man doesn’t go where BETTER, but from where UNBELIEVABLE. Mistress is absolutely NOTHING.
If the relationship in the family has burned out, the marriage turned out to be a mistake (this sometimes happens), it will break up regardless of whether the man has a lover or not. If this does not happen, it is impossible to lure a man out of a fortress called FAMILY by any spell.
2. Over time, the needs GROW.
No matter how good it is today, tomorrow you will want more ... MARRIAGE. A man will not be able to satisfy this need. Why? Read the first law.
And now, let’s say the balance.
A woman invests in a relationship:
- body and soul
- time is the most valuable and irreplaceable resource
- the future, pushing it indefinitely
- attention and care - a teaspoon per day / week / month (select the one you need)
- a small part of the material wealth, while the husband would bring all the income to the house
- unsettled personal life
- uncertainty about tomorrow
A man invests a little bit of everything. But it receives a powerful energy charge, discharge, outlet, satisfaction and self-confidence.
At the same time, it has a secured rear, children who grow up in a full-fledged family, a calm old age surrounded by loving heirs, a high status of the HEAD of the fundamental unit of society.
I’m not an accountant, but it seems to me that the balance DOES NOT CONSIST
The difference between a woman and her lover is very similar to the difference between a hard worker living from paycheck to paycheck and a businessman who placed his capital at a profitable interest. While a woman spends herself without a trace, a man multiplies assets.
I do not blame the representatives of the strong half of humanity, as snakes of tempters. In each alliance, a man pays his mistress equal to the price that she appointed. And this relationship lasts just as much as two suit.
Articles will help you figure out yourself better:
Is it worth dating a married man? If a woman is satisfied with the role of a lover, this is her decision. The main thing then is not to bite your elbows, but to humbly admit: “I knew what I was going for. Yaroslav warned! "
I would like to end with an appeal to all wives. Some of them may perceive this post as a “Free!” Command. Decide that it is time to rest on our laurels.
In fact, this is the “Start!” Team. A man will never leave the space in which he feels God near a contented woman.
Femininity, weakness, beauty, one hundred percent faith in a man, acceptance, love for oneself, for him, for the world are good weapons, skillfully using which the wife will defeat her lover, and even thoughts about her.
But these weapons must be used. To use it is ABLE and CONSTANT. Use = to be like that. Amen:).
Thanks for attention.
The most interesting articles of Yaroslav Samoilov:
Step # 5: Release the Grievances
To fully get out of this painful, toxic relationship, I highly recommend you another article of mine on how to survive a breakup. It will help you not only get out of the relationship completely, but also teach you in the future to create only healthy partnerships in which all your needs will be satisfied. And then be sure to forgive your ex and release him all insults. If you already know how to do it - great! And if not, do the forgiveness technique. She is guaranteed to take you out of stress and leave you only fond memories of a relationship with a married man.
Psychologist's advice if you are in a relationship with a married man
1. Trust only deeds. Men who are in a parallel relationship often know how to talk about feelings very sincerely, often due to the fact that they themselves believe in what they say. But since they know how to say two different women the right words so that they both remain in a relationship, it is still impossible to believe their words. None. You can only believe in actions.
2. Determine for yourself the period that you are ready to wait. To decide on a divorce, you need only one or two months. It cannot be a business or a new year or graduation from a child. Such dates are only an extension of time, because a man cannot decide to divorce.
3. If in any case you do not want to part with it, then look at the situation with open eyes, without illusions. Then you don’t have to constantly fall painfully from heaven to earth, realizing how everything really is. Married men who have an affair on the side usually want to look noble and very honest. But this is an illusion, because no one can be honest, trying to leave two women next to him.
4. If it’s hard for you, you cannot decide to part with a married man or you cannot understand whether he is telling the truth and whether he should wait, you can make an appointment with me, and together we will analyze the situation and find a suitable way out.
Other articles on relationships with a married man:
Relationship with a married
I have been in a relationship with a married man for 6 years. At first he lied, saying that he was not married. We parted, and he constantly returned. We met for two years with interruptions in just a couple of months. Then I moved to another city. I met there with another man. We planned to start a family.
And once I came to my family in my hometown, we met, and I no longer returned to another city, where I lived with another man. We love each other very much and want to be together. But he doesn’t get divorced, explaining that he has nowhere to go, no housing. We will not pull rent an apartment. He asks me to wait, he plans his business so that he can improve the financial situation. We see each other every day. Weekends are divided equally. I know that he loves me very much, but he is also very afraid to go nowhere. Give me advice from a psychologist, what to do? Wait? Or leave? Is there any chance that he will decide? Or is it just an excuse? I am 24, he is 42. Thank you in advance!
Your relationship with a married man has been going on for many years. During this time, usually a man either decides to leave his family, or stabilizes relations acceptable to him. The decision to get a divorce is not easy. Usually a person who subconsciously wants to leave the family finds another person and decides to take such a step in the wake of love.
A man can also decide to leave the family after much thought and understanding that the family has not developed relations, there is no hope that they will improve, and he no longer wants to live on as before. However, your man makes arguments in favor of why he cannot leave the family, which means that at the moment he is not deciding for himself the question of divorce, but has already made a decision on this matter.
Creating your own business and making sure that it brings a steady income is a very long business, it will take at least 3-5 years, and there is no guarantee that he will be able to start and make the business profitable. Such an explanation rather suggests that he wants to postpone the decision indefinitely.
If you want to continue the relationship with a married man, I would advise you to think about whether you can accept the situation as it is, not hoping for change and its divorce. If you can, then the relationship can continue. If you feel that you can’t live the way you live now, it’s better to think about breaking the relationship, since the hope that he will leave his family can make you put up with a difficult situation for a long time.
Psychologist's help in a relationship with a married man
He seeks lively emotional experiences.
Relations with his wife can be in a crisis. When partners annoy each other, do not find common topics for conversation at dinner, are stuck in everyday problems ... Some men cannot tolerate, survive and find a way out - and just give up.
They begin a relationship with a woman with whom it is simple and easy: he presented flowers, led to a restaurant, took Se * kcom in an expensive hotel ... No children, making breakfast and repairing a leaking tap. Everything is simple and painless. Only shallow.
His wife does not understand what a man really needs
If at home it is bad, the man will first be morally estranged, and then physically. Constant dissatisfaction with her husband, his income and appearance, stupid jokes and their absence, insufficient participation in raising children and walking a dog ... In such a house it is easy to feel unnecessary, awkward and untenable.
A wife does not value a man, does not praise, does not look with ecstatic eyes, and does not thank.
Relationship with Married: Imaginary Benefits and Misconceptions
Pros of the role of a lover:
- the man is already well-fed and well-groomed, there is no need to take care of his new suit, tasty dinner and problems at work. Everything is ready for consumption
- washing, ironing and co-parenting is so far away that it seems parallel to the universe,
- the ideal option for a free relationship - a man does not need to worry about having to destroy his family, and a woman - about potential serious relationships,
- a wealthy man can financially help his mistress,
- being a lover, a woman believes that she is unique and important for a man, that with her he is truly happy,
- hopes that the man will leave the family for her, and they will begin a serious relationship,
Illusion of deception
Being a lover is not only receiving gifts and passionate Se * kc. This is to play a second role. Constantly wage an internal struggle: on the one hand, understand that relations are doomed to be superficial, and on the other, continue to go on secret dates again and again.
To hide, not to be able to call in the middle of the night and say: “Come, I’m so bored!”, Not to use perfumes, not to give gifts, to be prepared that the man will cancel the meeting at the last moment.
And the initial lightness and increased attention, which so flattered you, are replaced by a heaviness in the heart, the realization that it belongs to another.
Relationship with a married man: is there a future?
No one wants to become a hostage to the situation, especially in a romantic relationship. It is difficult to love a married man who lies to his wife and brings up his children, and pays only crumbs of time and attention to you.
The main thing is to stop reproaching yourself. That this happened is not your fault. To find out why a married man appeared in your life, ask yourself four questions.
What motivates me in these relationships?
Maybe you are attracted to this man only by the stunning Se * kc on Thursdays? Or its eternal inaccessibility? Or that you are his secret secret?
If you want a joint future, three children and two cats, a family photo album and a vacation in Greece, this changes the situation. In this case, the role of a lover is not enough for you to endure for a long time.
And then what?
We believe in fairy tales because magic does happen. Occasionally, it happens that Cinderella meets the Prince. One in a million is still lucky.
It may happen that he really chooses you: divorced or separated (from the one to whom he once also swore allegiance). And here the consequences specific for such relations lie in wait.
So, here is what goes to the “second” women:
- A man with internal permission to cheat.
We, of course, are good and right people. But ... remember what happened when you first skipped a lesson or lecture? Drive, adrenaline, the feeling that you are doing something shameful and very forbidden. And scary at first.
And then, when it turns out that nothing terrible happened, fear almost disappears, and arrogance is added. And absenteeism for many is becoming commonplace.
So with men the same thing happens. Once you cross this line, then there is a huge temptation to add treason to the list of permissible acts.
As the saying goes, "when you marry a man who cheats on his wife, then you marry a man who cheats on his wife."
- A man who does not want to solve problems in a relationship.
Look, they didn’t have something with his wife. Maybe it's not easy. Maybe it has accumulated - who knows. In any case, difficulties appeared in their relationship. And what does he prefer to do in such a situation? Fight for a relationship, do everything possible with your couple to stay together? Not. He prefers to escape from the problem. And to run away so that you get all available bonuses from your partner as long as possible without admitting to treason.
And this is his way of living in a couple. How do you like this?
They say, "wives are never ex." And most often it is. Even if a man gets divorced, there are several points that prevent him from fully belonging to only one woman:
- Firstly, there is a habit. In a variety of forms. If he is used to taking care of his wife, constantly thinking about how she lives, then the chance is very small that he will take and forget about the one in which he has invested so much. If on his part there was no care and participation, then all the same he will have “flashbacks” - periods of acute longing for his former life. Just because the family occupied a part of his life, and he simply did not manage to survive the grief of parting with her (see the article about parting).
- Secondly, a couple (especially a family) are united not only by marital relations. They have common problems, friends, children, relatives - in short, those parts of life that do not appear and do not disappear with the stamp. Here they called him, for example, friends for his birthday. Who will he go with? And if now the former - they are also a friend and a welcome guest? And how to "share" relatives? What about the children? What about the business? All this, time after time, will pop up in his life.
- Thirdly, his guilt is not going anywhere. No matter how the relationship develops, no matter what happens - at heart, men very seriously experience the feeling of their "badness." Yes. He can disguise this feeling of aggression in relation to the former. But he will not cease to feel it. Especially if this man is a responsible creature. The explosive mixture of torment of conscience and a sense of responsibility for the one that he once tamed, now and then will make him care about the former. After all, he is to blame. And I want to make amends for the wine.
Many “second” women are aware of the concept of permission for treason. They suspect that where once - there and another. Having taken the long-awaited place of the wife, they rejoice for some time, but then ... then they begin to suffer from fears: "And where is he staying? At work? Formerly he also spoke when he was with me ..."
When the alarm goes off scale, a woman begins to do everything that provokes a man to treason. The severity of paranoia can be very different: someone spies on him, someone reads his correspondence, someone just loses peace. As a result - quarrels, scandals, tantrums and nervous breakdowns. Even if a woman is a champion in hiding her own feelings, then along with peace, she still loses confidence in her attractiveness. That also does not improve the situation, but a man simply repels.
An affair on the side is a forbidden fruit. Which is known to be sweet. And this greatly fuels the senses, artificially inflating the emotional connection. Well, think for yourself: how attractive are secret meetings, views that are understandable only to two ... does all this romance go at least in some way with relations that do not imply a secret? Stormy novels, as you know, are broken about life. From the coveted and beloved Prince, he turns into something shaggy and in ragged shorts. And she, once well-groomed, affectionate and understanding, becomes a "saw" with chronic PMS and in a dressing gown.
This dubious magic is experienced by every couple. But in the case of a relationship that begins with the novel, the contrast between the Prince and the Frog is much sharper. After all, we fell in love not with each other, but with strong emotions, seasoned with romance. The man remained, but he no longer gives such cool emotions.
If romance with married men is so hopeless, then why do women enter into such a relationship?
- Low self-esteem. If a woman does not have a sense of self-worth, then a terrible thing happens: it seems normal to her that the man treats her as a backup airfield.
- Negative attitudes and deficit thinking. For example, the idea that "there are few good men, and we must fight for them."
- Propensity for co-dependent relationships. This includes salvation, sacrifice, and frank masochism.
- Fear of intimacy. As you know, the best way not to be in proximity is to choose inaccessible partners.
- Ignorance of male psychology. It happens that a naive woman simply does not know that men think differently than we do. And she is not aware that there are any rules, that a man has a desire to save energy where possible. Well and so on.
What to do if you are already in a relationship with a man who is busy?
- Recall the math and calculate how many men a day pass by you. If the city is large - then at least 100 people per day are found - on the street, in the subway, in large stores. Even if 90% of them are busy, do not fit by age or social status, it still turns out that for every day in a relationship with the “wrong” man you miss 10 chances to be happy. That is, over a month there are 300 such chances. And for the year 3600.
- Right now, stop reading to block his contacts.
- Go to a psychologist and get rid of the reason why you are in these relationships.
When a woman begins an affair with a married man, her expected picture is too optimistic. She thinks like: “This is a cool adventure in which I can only win. Cooking, ironing, pleasing, enduring something, drowning in a routine is not necessary. You just need to look good, take compliments and enjoy life. ”
Indeed, it is the wife who suffers all these crises, shortages of wages and other family nonsense. Mistresses already get everything ready without a hint of trouble. If the married man is also wealthy, he will pay a vacation ticket, repair her car, and indulge in a diamond. When leaving, he will not throw dirty socks under the bed, no, he will be a courtesy. In addition, the girl distributes her time so that a relationship with her lover does not interfere with her personal life. She is independent, active, well-off and in demand among males.
What really happens when a woman begins a relationship with a married man? In real life, pictures of independent life are brutally smashed against the rocks of disappointment. The fair sex is waiting for:
- constant adjustment for a man (a busy man meets only when he can break out),
- “Secrecy at gunpoint”, from which women get tired after six months (you can never remind anyone of yourself),
- systematic disruption of one’s own plans (you cancel a meeting with friends for his sake, and my mother-in-law came to him)
- inner feeling of loneliness - “with everyone and with nobody” (relations with a married man always lead to this),
- Jealousy (each female considers the male belonging to her to be OWN, and nothing else),
- a sad feeling of uselessness (lack of love, respect),
Everything, a woman understands that relations with a married man suck her more and more, but the pleasure from it is becoming less. Anger appears, the feeling that she is being deceived, used, compared ...
The main question always sounds the same: why in relations with a not free man does a woman fail to stretch this alliance? The answer is prosaic: the psychology of a married man is such that in a relationship on the side, he seeks only convenience. You made it clear that you are not claiming the first role in the triangle? Encouraged his connection with two women at once? Did you initially agree to the terms “quieter than water, lower than grass”? Everything, you are the ideal lover for an easy relationship!
A woman who has a relationship with a married chosen one drives herself into a corner: she will be silent - a man will go to her for 30 years for pleasure (he has nowhere to rush), will press and scandalize - he will run away, frightened by pressure.
What to do if love is strong
Love is a strong feeling, and maybe the marriage that the man is running from now is really a fatal mistake in the life of two young people. If there is strong love between you, and you are ready to shoulder the burden of great responsibility, learn to be wise in order to achieve what you want.
How to build a relationship with a married man?
First, be patient. They said about the seriousness of their feelings once and fell silent. The next step is the gentleman. While taking a wait-and-see attitude, become a real support for the satellite, a guiding star, an adviser who will always listen and support. “Honey, it's not so bad, you're just tired. You need to rest, otherwise your emotional state will affect your health. ”
Secondly, never mention your wife in conversations, especially in negative contexts. Even if a married man himself complains about her, there shouldn’t be a mention of her in your mouth! Better shake its flaws on the mustache and improve on this background.
Thirdly, always be glad to see him. No matter the time, day of the week and your well-being. He is the idol of your life. Especially this advice is relevant for men of age. For example, the behavior and desires of a married man after 60 years of age differ significantly from younger lovers. They have already lost that famous testosterone, which drives the male to other "booties", but the desire to please other women, to teach them, to patronize, to educate comes to replace. To be vital to someone (not children, but a pretty person who will open her mouth when her mentor appears).
And of course, you must keep your romance in the strictest confidence. The male position on this score is quite strict: if a married partner finds out that the woman is frivolous about this item, she risks becoming immediately abandoned.
But as M. Bulgakov said: “Fear your desires ...”. Let's simulate a situation where you finally got a married partner. What kind of man is this? Beautiful, strong, responsible, you say. And psychologists will answer you differently!
As a result, for relationships as a life partner you get:
- a man who is used to running away from problems (he did not honestly solve crises with his wife),
- the man who tasted the taste of treason,
- in addition to the man you ALWAYS get his past family (ex-wives do not happen, as you know).
In addition, a woman, being (even involuntarily) the third in a relationship, is unlikely to be happy for other, own reasons. In the future, she herself pathologically begins to be jealous and suspect this man. “Was he stuck in traffic for 1.5 hours?” But he said the same thing to his wife when he popped in after me after work? ” “Why don’t you pick up the phone for a long time, who is calling you in the evening, why are you so tired”? This is a vicious circle in which a woman quickly gets tired and puts her hands down.
Now close your eyes again and answer the question again: “What is this man you finally got? Are you ready to accept such a treasure? ” If you think about it - do not break your life. If you are still firmly confident in your feelings, well, no one will dissuade you.
If there is love - a man declares it immediately, but not in words, but in deeds. I talked to my wife like a human being, packed up my things and gave you the whole world. Everything else is an illusion that you are deceiving in a relationship with a married man.
Why did I agree to this kind of relationship?
Maybe it was easier for you that the man is married? Indeed, in this case, you do not have to bear responsibility for a serious relationship, plan the purchase of a bookcase, repair in the kitchen and solve everyday problems together.
Or were you scared off by the presence of a spouse, but you, like a butterfly, flew into the fire, despite the fear?
What will happen if we continue to play the role of a lover?
Passion will subside sooner or later. How then will you react to the double life of a man? Accept your role calmly or will you constantly want more? Calm down or jealous of your wife and children? In your free time will you have fun with your friends and go about your business or nervously wait for his call?
If you are inclined to the second option - the role of a lover is uncomfortable for you, and you need to do something about it.
Terminating such a relationship is sometimes the easiest way out of a situation. How to do this and is there a chance to come to the fore in the life of a married man?
Why and how to stop communicating with a married man?
The heart whispers words of love, rare meetings are so romantic and sweet, and yet - he is married. And despite the promises, he is unlikely to leave the family, dissolve a ten-year marriage and leave his children. You need to come to terms with this and proceed further.
If a woman is satisfied with the role of a lover, she does not wait until the man leaves his wife and one evening comes to her with a ring and tickets to Crete, then everything is in order.
But if you feel uncomfortable that the main role is not played by you, the best way to calm down and establish your life is to stop such communication. The relationship does not hold out only on the woman’s desire to change something. The inaction of a man will be a key factor.
How to break with the past?
If you decide to stop meeting with a married man, the first advice is to look around. Why are you fixated on this particular person? There are so many guys around who secretly are watching you in the office or on the street! People with interesting hobbies, caring and open to relationships that are not connected by marriage, children and mortgages.
How to get out of a hopeless relationship
If you are tired of waiting and want to break off a meaningless relationship with a married partner, you are going in the right direction. You need a serious internal attitude, an understanding of your desires and willpower.
So, how to break the connection with a married man once and for all!
What it is? This is the right motivation and determination of your life goals. How long is your relationship? You understand that parting is inevitable, it is only a matter of time? Why are you delaying this moment? What drives you: fear of the unknown, habit, hope, fear of destroying at least some, but happiness? This is self-deception, you are not happy.
Are you tired of carrying the load of negative emotions? Tired of being jealous of his wife, being comfortable and not beloved, being in the shade, asking for patience and waiting ... Tired of constant excuses or tales of the desire to be together someday in the distant future? Then the time has come for big changes for the better.
Get out of the role of the victim. This is not sarcasm, but sincere advice, because a lover is a victim. Take off your pink glasses already. Set priorities: do you want to create a strong union filled with love, trust, respect? Want a normal, happy life? Then just say so to your hopeless companion, because he already has it all. The time has come and you will become happy. Without reproach, absolutely calm. You are not doing this in order to force the married man to make promises again, but in order to let him go!
You can’t find reasons to leave him - write on paper the negative qualities of a lover. When you want to meet when he calls, browse this list before his arrival. Watch and make sure your choice is right.
End of relationship
Build on the nature of the partner and your attitude towards him. If he really has warm feelings for you, talk to him honestly. Explain the reason for your decision to terminate this relationship. Let him see that you have all weighed and determined. Thank the man, say that no one is to blame for anything, and it’s time for you to move on. All.
But the above image is so rare that few people manage to part with a married man in a good way. Most often, contacts must be broken quickly and irrevocably. There is no longer any chance for a reunion of relations (and there will be a large number of them, because the hunter's pride is hurt, and he urgently needs to be returned). Delete SMS immediately, without even reading them, ignore his visits, do not pick up the phone. If you scream from the door: “Go away, I do not want to see you,” he will take it as a game. Keep yourself in control. Throw out everything connected with it from the apartment. Do not walk along the street where he lives, pass by his favorite shops, cafes. If you meet on the street, calmly move on. Your weapon is ignoring.
A married man can ask for the last night, the last conversation, a goodbye kiss, a gift reminiscent of your wonderful pastime. Stop such an initiative on his part. He just felt so comfortable living, he just wants to return his measured way of life. Not you, but a well-arranged life! If necessary - change the phone number, work, block pages on social networks. Threaten, in the end, to tell his wife about his persecution, let him tighten his tail and calm down. There is no turning back.
Take a vacation. Indulge yourself now. You need to get distracted. If there is no way to relax - load yourself on the shoulders with work. So that you do not have a minute of free time.
What does it mean? This means letting go of a person and everything connected with him. Do not revenge, do not try to destroy their marriage (this makes no more sense) or prove something to someone. Accept your feelings that so long prevented you from living peacefully. You are not bad, you are just a woman who wanted happiness. Have you taken? And now let them out: brew a day to loud music, dance with your friends until the morning, break all his gifts, tear all the things that remind of him.
Now learn to live for yourself. Find new hobbies, meet interesting people, do what you have never done before. Exercise extreme sports if the relationship with a married man threw you a thrill. Spend your free time on self-improvement.
Take a look around - how many men walk past you every day, you didn’t even notice it before! Open your eyes, wake up, it's time to start a new life. Yes, it will be painful and scary, unbearably hard at times. Do not give up. Believe in yourself and your feminine happiness!
If a woman is not ready for this step now, let her know that this imaginary “readiness” will never come. The best time is now.
Talk to a man
If you have the courage, at the meeting, tell the man about your decision to stop your communication. Explain that you are not comfortable with the second role, scheduled meetings, uncertainty, and fear that everyone will find out about your connection.
Do not be fooled by his persuasion “to spend another evening together”, on promises to leave the family and on expensive gifts. Respect your decision!
If you feel that you don’t have enough strength to tell the truth directly in your face, write a letter or simply disappear from life with the words: “I'm sorry” - you are a free woman and do not owe anything to a married man.
So, we figured out what the relationship with a married man really is - the advice of a psychologist, I hope you helped in this. Believe me, there is a young, promising, intelligent, handsome and, most importantly, free man in the world with whom you can create a family and build harmonious mature relationships. He will love you, and you will love him. But honestly admit to yourself, while you are in a relationship with a married man, you close your path to your personal female happiness. And do not forget to download my book "How to love yourself." You can purchase it at this link at a symbolic cost of 149 rubles. In it, I share the most effective methods that will not only help you increase your self-esteem and love yourself, but also make your whole life happy! And of course, embedding the techniques proposed in this book will help you resolve the situation with a married man in your favor. After all, a woman who loves herself is always in the first place. At herself and, accordingly, at her beloved man.
Slowly go through the video course with which you will leave the role of the victim, learn to defend yourself, increase self-esteem, become an independent person and make a firm and correct decision regarding your current relationship. Detailed description and method of purchase here.
I am a psychologist, and relationships are one of the key areas of my work. If you need individual help to understand this confusing situation or in yourself, you can contact me for psychological advice on Skype. I will help you put things in order in your head, make the decision you need and learn how to live the way you want.
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Make the world one more happy woman.
Your psychologist Lara Litvinova
Do not rush into a new love adventure
The attempt to “repair damage” from a painful relationship with a married man is unlikely to end in a harmonious relationship. Give yourself time to cool. Take a couple of days off to “lick the wounds,” wrapping yourself in a blanket, surrounding yourself with chocolate and romantic films.
Allow yourself to be sad, a little nostalgic and cry. A new stage is not possible unless you finish the old.
What to do to never again fall into the trap of the "third superfluous"
To never get involved in a relationship with a married man again, you need to work out your internal mistakes and scenarios.
- Improve your self-esteem. A woman with an adequate attitude to herself will never allow herself to be in the “waiting by the window” status. Read articles on how to gain confidence in yourself, believe me, this is very important.
- Go over the fear of starting a serious relationship. It was therefore easier for you to make contact with a not free man?
- Drive away negative thoughts: “Good men have already been dismantled, but you don’t want to mess with bad ones.” Who told you that?
- Get rid of childhood injuries. Escape from the parental scenario, a tendency to masochism, the eternal position of the victim, the desire to be patronized, necessary - all this is called co-dependent relationship. If you aspire to them subconsciously, you cannot do without qualified psychologist help.
Understand that no one will answer whether a woman acts right or wrong when she starts a relationship with a married man. Everyone can judge, but no one is able to establish this framework of decency. Just look inside yourself. Did you dream about this when you were the first school beauty? Are you offended that you celebrate all the holidays a day later? Aren't you ashamed, do you feel sorry for yourself? Are you ready to live another 2, 6, 15 years of your life like that? And all my life? Take your will into a fist and finally do what you should have done for a long time! What exactly? Answer yourself this question!
Tell yourself: giving up such a relationship, I recognize myself as a person. The one that is worthy of love and respect, is worthy of taking first place, is worthy of attention and care of a man not on schedule, but at will! The one that deserves flowers and gifts is not an apology!
Now you do not need to hypnotize your phone while waiting for a call. Accept party invitations, register in the dating application, go on dates.
Anger is normal
A sense of rage will also help you quickly recover from a toxic relationship. Think about why you need a man who plays on two fronts, says the same words of love to two women? Will such a partner be able to support in a difficult situation? Will he come to the hospital urgently? Will it be around day and night, if necessary?
Is it possible to have children with a married man? Go on vacation? Forget about everything in the world?
Such questions are not the most pleasant, but they open their eyes to the truth, cause tears, resentment, anger. These emotions can be used to part with a man and start a new life.
A man has a mistress because:
- he lacks Se * kca and vivid erotic experiences with his wife,
- relationships and marriage have cooled emotionally
- he is trying to catch youth by the tail,
- he proves his status to friends,
- he has not too high moral values,
- his wife does not understand what her husband really needs.
Ask yourself questions:
- What made me enter into a relationship as a lover?
- what do I give and what do I gain by being in a relationship with a married man?
- Will it be comfortable for me to continue the relationship, where I am a lover in the background? Or do I want more: family, home, children?
To end a relationship with a married man:
- if you have the courage, say directly that you are tired of such a life and want more. Or end the relationship with a short word: “I'm sorry!”,
- give yourself a few days of loneliness and sadness to move to a new stage,
- love yourself: you deserve more than scheduled appointments and flowers as an apology,
- remove things reminiscent of him from your home and phone,
- get angry! And use this energy to begin a new phase,
- Do not rush to embark on a new romantic adventure,
- remember, any separation is painful. Do not demand happiness and joy the very next day. Would you agree to a relationship with a married man?